Above all, marriage is communication. Every item on these lists provides a window into how well you will be able to communicate as a couple.
If these issues are difficult for you, or you can’t talk about them now, you aren’t ready to take the plunge. Make two copies of these lists, one for each of you. Give your real answers (not the ones you think the other person wants to hear). Address your fears or live with them. The subjects you need your candidate’s thoughts on most will be the hardest for you to ask about. Most people will not be honest or know their true thinking. If you are unsure, ask your questions many different ways.
Marriage subjects our happiness to the whims, moods, and inadequacies of another person. We all have powerful and specific feelings about almost every issue. We all have weaknesses and faults, so finding a person who is “workable” is crucial. Workability can only be determined only by talking openly about a lot of subjects over time. Take your time; get it right.
Children who are listened to and whose opinions are valued tend to live with the assumption that the world will also treat them this way.