Convert Blurting into Bonding

When a person can’t describe their problems or feelings, they hold them in. Often they come out too forcefully at the wrong time with the wrong words and emotions. But blurting is a good way to release pressures.

Blurt: to utter suddenly or inadvertently; to divulge impulsively or unadvisedly. This is going to sound clumsy because I haven’t thought it through, but I am just going to blurt it out to get the conversation started.”
Used lightheartedly, this one word says:

  • My intentions are friendly
  • “I don’t know how to explain this properly.”
  • “I’m excited to get your input.”
  • “What do you think about this?”
  • “Your opinion is important to me.”

When trying to figure out how to present an issue or respond, cope or react to one, be led by the of the other party—not their words, tone or actions. Rather than be defensive, be reassuring and a good listener. Ask questions that lower the tension and give the person permission to be open without fear of your reaction.

Once you think you know their needs, get them to confirm it before you act as if you know. You could be wrong and even if you are right, they may not want you telling them what they think. Keep calm, don’t take anything personally and proceed as if the thoughts or actions of the other person have been or will be well-intentioned.

The release of tension can improve your situation immediately and make both of you more receptive to each other’s point of view. Even if your issue is not resolved completely, if you celebrate the exchange of needs, ideas and emotions, you will strengthen your bond with a Blurt.