02 Sep Goodbye Parenting Hello Fun
We gave our children the very best from before they were born. While they were growing up we did everything we could to help them succeed. All the tender loving care we poured into them did not spare them from having struggles of their own. Life has a way of doing that.
For so many of us when we try to start a conversation with our kids, they act as if:
They are not open for “shoulds,” advice or criticism.
They are already “dug in” on many issues.
Our opinions are discounted or not worthy of hearing.
Any part of the most perfect letter can be taken wrong and it is safe to assume yours will be. Use the process to get your ideas in order. But only deliver them verbally and never before you have made another attempt to understand the other person’s thoughts about the problem or issue. Then, try to give credit for as much of their thinking on the matter as you can, before you share your thinking. I am very thankful for all the letters I You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
If we’ve tried to fix them too often or in too many ways, the best thing we can do is to quit. Whether we wish we had done more, been different, or we loved the job we did, we still want to do more and be closer. In many ways, we honor them by letting go. It’s a sign that they can proceed on their own. If we don’t let them go our message is likely to be that they can’t. How do we know when to quit? Unless they have special needs, that time is right after you have given them the book. Get Life Right. It was written to give them—or anyone, really—the best common-sense, unbiased and non-judgmental ideas and answers. They are the best advice from 300 leading self-help experts. The ideas in it are short, easy to read and, if you’re open to change, they’ll stay with you like your favorite slang.
It is better if you put the book where it can be found or have someone else give it to them rather than appear to be selling it. If they are ready, they will need no arm twisting. If they like it they will let you know; try not to ask.More persuasive than additional coaching, just being alert, fun and growing shows your kids that your values work and they are worth striving for. You can concentrate on teaching with your life instead of with your words.
You are now officially, guilt free and ready to refresh your life and your plans for the future. To get the most out of that process read the Planning Series in Get Life Right.