11 Feb Start Winning Your Arguments
Start winning your arguments
The preferred way to handle heated encounters is to:
defuse the energy of the other persons position and posturing – never push back
act as if the other person may be taking bad or inappropriate positions, or is basing his argument on faulty information, but is acting with the best of intentions; even though they probably aren’t.
look for big or annoying problems in the other person life that could have them worried or agitated like finances, parents, relatives, job, lost opportunity or a health issue.
listen intently, respond in a way that makes the other person feel that they have been heard without taking a stand on the issue.
be aware that there can be no fight unless you let the other person draw you in.
even when, or especially when you think you have the right response, tell the other person you need time to think and you’ll get back to them in a minute, hour, day or an indefinite amount of time so you can talk to them when they are calm and sober
don’t bring up past transgressions our unload your anger; save it for a time when the condition are more favorable for you, but open that talk with these approaches appreciate yourself for the kindness of allowing the other person to vent reopen the conversation by restating or granting as of the other person’s thinking as possible.
If all else fails, look for ways that the other person’s position could be correct ;o) which should be the first