CREATE CLOSENESS-HONOR THE GIFTS OF TENDER MOMENTS
How do you create closeness with your spouse or partner? How do you destroy it? Using something your mate has said in a moment of affection, openness, weakness or request for forgiveness in order to punish them, get even, or to make your point will kill your closeness. That is particularly sad because the most […]
THE FASTEST WAY TO A COMPLETE MAKEOVER
Certain events and beliefs change the rules we live by. They can cause us to be bold or afraid, beaten or determined, sadder or wiser, to shrink from or rise above. The meanings we attribute to them are called “Tags”. For example if your partner is late for dinner on a regular basis, you could […]
Resolving Arguments for Closeness Guaranteed
Reolving Arguments The affection that comes from making up and resolving arguments far exceeds anything you can gain by clinging to your point, resentment, hurt, or receiving the apology you need desperately for your bruised ego. Sally had been upset with Hal for a long time. When she finally unloaded on him, she cut him […]
KEEPING THE PEACE CAN START A COLD WAR
Hal would have opened up to Sally completely if he felt wanted. He believed she would have opened up to him if she had felt wanted, but that wasn’t happening. What Sally needed was for Hal to make her feel feminine, desired and worth fighting for. Even if she could have stated her need that […]
Can you Find Peace in Confrontations?
I’ve only had two serious confrontations with one of my kids. Even though both experiences put him on the hot seat, after some awkward moments he thanked me. In both cases, his fear of what was to come was far worse than warranted, so my intrusion actually reduced his anxiety. Leave your big voice, hold […]
Convert Blurting into Bonding
When a person can’t describe their problems or feelings, they hold them in. Often they come out too forcefully at the wrong time with the wrong words and emotions. But blurting is a good way to release pressures. Blurt: to utter suddenly or inadvertently; to divulge impulsively or unadvisedly. This is going to sound clumsy […]
