Stubbornness-Be-Gone!
I wore the standard men’s haircut for 47 years. More than several times before my wife died she had asked me to wear it longer, but when I told the barber he didn’t listen. My girlfriend asked me to wear it longer. When it seemed really long I told my barber to leave it […]
INFECTIOUS FRIENDS
The thoughts and manners of your friends are contagious. You begin to catch what they’ve got almost immediately. Get around those who will infect you with thoughts and ways that will make you a better person. When you have friends you are close to, it makes you feel better about yourself. What good is success […]
A Well-Placed Approach Can Revitalize the Rest of Two Lives
Tell her “I need more affection.” Cuddle her to sleep or awake. Be there when she wakes up in the morning. Go on walks and go shopping with her and push the cart instead of reading the magazines. Hold her hand. Ask for her opinion. Take her places where she can dress up. Dress better […]
CREATE CLOSENESS-HONOR THE GIFTS OF TENDER MOMENTS
How do you create closeness with your spouse or partner? How do you destroy it? Using something your mate has said in a moment of affection, openness, weakness or request for forgiveness in order to punish them, get even, or to make your point will kill your closeness. That is particularly sad because the most […]
THE FASTEST WAY TO A COMPLETE MAKEOVER
Certain events and beliefs change the rules we live by. They can cause us to be bold or afraid, beaten or determined, sadder or wiser, to shrink from or rise above. The meanings we attribute to them are called “Tags”. For example if your partner is late for dinner on a regular basis, you could […]
Resolving Arguments for Closeness Guaranteed
Reolving Arguments The affection that comes from making up and resolving arguments far exceeds anything you can gain by clinging to your point, resentment, hurt, or receiving the apology you need desperately for your bruised ego. Sally had been upset with Hal for a long time. When she finally unloaded on him, she cut him […]
KEEPING THE PEACE CAN START A COLD WAR
Hal would have opened up to Sally completely if he felt wanted. He believed she would have opened up to him if she had felt wanted, but that wasn’t happening. What Sally needed was for Hal to make her feel feminine, desired and worth fighting for. Even if she could have stated her need that […]
Convert Blurting into Bonding
When a person can’t describe their problems or feelings, they hold them in. Often they come out too forcefully at the wrong time with the wrong words and emotions. But blurting is a good way to release pressures. Blurt: to utter suddenly or inadvertently; to divulge impulsively or unadvisedly. This is going to sound clumsy […]
Care Less (AKA Killing with Conscientiousness)
Most people know that prolonged anxiety can and does shorten lives. What they don’t know is that being overly-conscientious is an octane booster for their anxiety. The more they care the more it hurts the sender and the receiver. When we set out to shed our anxiety, it seems like we are being asked to […]
MAKING THE WRITE CHOICE EVERYTIME
As an early adult I wrote two letters to my father encouraging him to be more fun. They were kind and well written. He was a man set in his ways, and since he had been so responsible his entire life he never learned to be lighthearted. He didn’t have that to give. My letters […]
