Our happiness comes from how we view our gifts. We appreciate ourselves when:
- we “feel” that…
- we have gifts…
- we are using them well….
- and they are being well received.
When any one of those four conditions does not exist happiness can be hard to find and hold onto.
Whether our conclusions are accurate or not has some bearing on the outcome, but it is not conclusive. We can have items 2, 3 and 4 and be an emotional wreck or lack all three of them and feel on top of the world. So:
How we feel about our gifts is more important than whether we have them or how good they are.
Our life gets built on our emotional structure.
The prospect of living below the poverty line might prompt notions of suicide in those who associate happiness with possessions and status, but Iris Joy was never aware of such thoughts; she was having too much fun.
Every five years for 50 years, a Harvard study examined the lives of 824 participants, most of who were well off during some or all of their life. The researchers concluded that even though Iris Joy, one of the participants, had never lived above the poverty level, she had done the best job with her life. She was thoughtful, spiritual and caring. She chose the right spouse, learned constantly, stayed fit and was a good friend to everyone. The committee in charge felt that the balance she had crafted with the ingredients of her life produced the most pleasing result. – Quote from the introduction of Get Life Right.com.
Harvard Study of Adult Development by George E. Vailant M.D., Xing-Jia Cui M.D and Stephen Soldz M.D.
A gorgeous high school student who was in student government, varsity sports as a freshman, who has never gotten less than A’s and reads voraciously has massive potential but also massive anxiety. She has all the gifts except number one: mastery of her emotions.
Getting to where our emotions aren’t inflated, deflated, or working against us, is the point at which our emotions become our strength, and help us to realize all we are capable of becoming.
Life is like a riddle we are being asked to solve; what we are capable of and what is the best way to head toward the most we can become. Some people have no idea of what that will look like, so they don’t know how to proceed, and they have trouble starting.
Other than longing to have a goal and being in pursuit of it, our emotions tend to exaggerate the work and risks involved or keep us anxious so we can’t think clearly.
Luckily there is a clue and it is a gigantic one. Knowing it is like cheating because it makes finding our way so much easier. It is not only the clue to our emotional peace it’s the key to our potential in all areas of our lives.
The clue is to love yourself as you are and know that you are already complete. You can’t add anything to yourself. You can only utilize what you have better.
You can adopt this thinking tool and see yourself as a new car sitting in the driveway. You can love it but to drive it you have to use the key. The key is striving to make it work. That means making the transition between being the person you have thought you should be or wished you were, to the wise and clever person who can use his or her skill-set to get where you want to be next; and making sure that each of your steps lead you toward where you want to be eventually.
Wisdom is the ability to distinguish differences. It is seeking accuracy in what we see, want, and experience over allowing our preconceptions of what we want or wish should happen sway our thoughts or decisions.
Once you get and apply these principles, you can ask yourself to get more information. Consider the alternatives differently, but you know there is no benefit or purpose to beating yourself up.
You already have everything you need to make the contribution to the world you were sent here to make. Anything more you wish you were or weren’t will take away from who you are. You own who you are and it is good. Nobody, thing or event can take away from who you are unless you let them.
