Improve Your Relationships and Marriage

Relationship Tools

Even when both people want to do everything they can to have a good relationship, feelings still get bruised.

Often the way you say something can be more harmful than what you say.

Clarifying Your Feelings

Statements that begin with “I” are clear. Statements that begin with “You” are either criticisms or riddles. Most people would rather help you with a demanding request than try to solve the riddle of why you are angry or what you want.

Relationship Clues and Cures

When both people in a relationship value each other, it is often easier to fix a problem than most people realize.You can make up your mind not to be at odds with anyone, and to use your best efforts to defuse any bad feelings that seem to arise.

Fixing, Resisting and Controlling

You can always get your way by letting the other person’s way become your way.

The Secret to Fixing Others
Almost everything we say or do can be received by another as the opposite of what was intended. Take the time you need to learn the mental state and thinking of the person you plan to fix before you blurt out your ideas.
The Bubble Concept

Your best and most endearing quality may be how graciously you deal with the things you lack.

The qualities and skills we don’t have and can’t get are like “Bubbles.” There is nothing there.

Reducing Conflict

What is causing the distance between me and him or her?

How can I get the closeness back?

Can I give up my need to win arguments?

Making Your Point
Your willingness to work through the issues with the person you are trying to convince may be more persuasive than the arguments you present.
Peace Process

“Conflict in close relationships is not only inevitable, it’s essential. Intimacy connects people who are inevitably different.”

—Martha Beck at

Dwindling Romance: Hal and Sally
Hal and Sally had what appeared to be a good marriage, great kids, friends, security, and adventure. But because they chose their explanations poorly, they missed a lot of pleasure they could have had.
Refreshing Your Relationship
Affection was Sally’s trump card, but she held it back. Maybe she thought she would use it once she fixed Hal; maybe she was on autopilot or had no affection to give.
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