Skillful Thoughts

Series C – Get the Most out of Your Attributes

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Underlined thoughts diminish you – Thoughts with dots empower you

C-1 The Way You Are:

I don’t like the way I am.

  • I’m the best thing I’ve got, and liking myself is essential to getting the most out of myself.
  • Everyone can use improvement. I will try to be more aware of what I can do better and improve as I go.
  • Accepting myself will make it easier for others to accept me.

I haven’t made many friends.

  • If I can get around people who are stimulating I’d put more energy into them as friends.
  • To be interesting to others, be interested in them.

I can’t find friends.

  • I can’t develop friendships if I stay by myself.
  • If I do what I like best I will find others with similar interests.
  • If I likely more people more of them will like me.



C-2  Learning Made Easier:

The only way I can learn is by doing.

  • I can read and learn anything that’s important or exciting enough to me.
  • I am just bored. If anything is important enough I will do whatever it takes to learn it or do it.

I couldn’t be in charge of anything.

  • I am already in charge of myself; I’ll start by doing a better job there.
  • By acting as a leader I will become one sooner?
  • Being in charge of a few things would give me experience; what can I volunteer to run?
  • What do I know most about?
  • What would I most like to teach?

I wish I could feel comfortable around people.

  • It will be easier for me to act natural if I look at each conversation as a practice for the ones that will follow.
  • I have been judging others the way I judge myself. If I accept myself more others will too.
  • If I ask them questions about things they want to talk about they will think I am wonderful to be around.

I can’t take criticism.

  • I can learn a lot from criticism if I can quit being so sensitive and defensive
  • I can learn, win-over and silence those who criticize me by listening and responding graciously.
  • I will let the criticizers know they have been heard so they will be less compelled to repeat themselves.

I’m not sure I can do it.

  • Everyone knows when I’m afraid to try
  • People admire those who work through their fears.
  • The more confident I am the more likely I will do a good job.
  • If I act as if I’m confident I will become confident quicker.



C-3 Using All of Your Brain Power:

My brain sucks!

  • Instead of pressuring my brain I am going to give it more time to respond and be creative?
  • How many thoughts have I gathered and written down for the decision I need to make soon?
  • Knowing more about the decisions I have to make will make them better.



C-4 Cleverness:

I’m just not very clever.

  • I won’t know if I can be clever until I have tried more.
  • When I act as if I am clever I become clever.
  • Cleverness like muscles needs to be used to grow. The more I used it the more I can rely on it to be more self-sufficient, self-assured and to make money with it.


C-5 Emotions That Work:

It’s depressing to not have any close friends.

  • There’s nobody around here I respect enough to make into a close friend.

He makes me furious.

  • The way I think about what he does causes me more pain that what he does.

I can’t get him to do anything I need him to do.

  • Working with him on as much as possible increases the chances that he will work with me more often.

I am a mess.

  • When I act as if I am, I give myself permission to be more that way.
  • My brain is dwelling in a pool of bad explanations.
  • I will feel better immediately once I loved myself enough to get off of my own case and take responsibility for what happens to me.

I’m not interesting to anyone.

  • Showing interest in others is the best way to get others to show interest in you.

She makes me furious

  • I will ask her to talk about why and I will try to comply with what she is trying to accomplish
  • When I need another person to listen and change, I will try to use the following approach:
    • When you_______________
    • It makes me feel_____________
    • I wish you would ______________



C-6 Confidence and Self-esteem:

I have no confidence or self-esteem.

  • Acting as if I have either one is the fastest way to get it.
  • Whether I succeed or fail trying will build my self-esteem; failing to try will reduce it.

I could never speak in public.

  • When it becomes important enough to me, I’ll practice beforehand and do a good job.



C-7 Acting As If:

When I “act as if” it makes me feel fake.

  • Fake it till you make it.
  • Those whose lives have progressed more than mine have been better at acting as if over an ever increasing range of challenges.
  • Faking it at first is quickest way to get started.



C-8 The Power of Wanting:

If I want something I get it.

  • The small things I get frequently buy to make me feel good keep me from getting bigger things that could help me for the rest of my life.
  • The longer and harder I work and save for a big goal the more pleasure it will give me in the long run.

I’d like to work on custom cars but I have no experience or contacts.

  • I will volunteer to work for free or very little to be able to see where body work is being done.
  • I will move as fast as possible toward the work I like and can do best.
  • I will get the certification I need to make the most important contribution to a company who customizes cars.
  • As quickly as possible I will learn how far I have to progress using my best skill is this industry to be able to live the way I want to live.
  • If I can’t make enough in custom cars I will keep looking for an industry where I can.



C-9 Benefit From all Your Turning Points:

After losing my house and two jobs, I can’t pick myself up.

  • I will use my prime time to shop for a job,
  • I will work for free where I can learn a skill or job in an industry that might be more stable or enjoyable.
  • I will take classes to make myself more employable.
  • I will work for commissions in my off ours by selling products in the industry I know or would like to work in.



C-10 Shedding Notions of Suicide

My brain is fried and I am no use to anyone.

  • I will do my best to accept the fact that I have locked onto that notion that I am messed up and that belief is locking out all of the positive thoughts and ideas that could help me.
  • Wanting something very much and going after it would take my mind off of the mess I have thought myself into.
  • So far my best thinking has been stinking. If I can now make myself listen to advice from others it could benefit from this depression. .
  • I am my best asset. The more I appreciate myself the more my capabilities will work together.
  • By becoming my own best friend and developing a plan I will regain control of my life.
  • The most important part of getting momentum is starting.
  • I will start with the best plan I can scratch out on paper right now and improve on it as I go.



C-11 Fixing on the Fly:

When I screw up big time it makes me angry and embarrassed.

  • I am beginning to realize that those emotions are useless, full of self-pity and embarrassing.
  • If I look at mistakes as learning opportunities I will learn and not alienate my family and friends.
  • To capture the lesson I’m going to replay the incident in my mind but using the approach I should have used.

People avoid me.

  • The only people left if my life are those who can’t get away from my outbursts, temper or selfish ways.

Using my temper to force people to do things my way has left me alone.

  • I will not react to anything without gathering reliable facts and gaining control of my emotions. That involves mending fences and admitting when I’m wrong.
  • I will say I am sorry immediately.
  • I will listen better and admit when I am wrong.



C-12 Winning:

I never win.

  • I’ve never been willing to put everything I’ve got into anything.
  • When I do my best I win.
  • I don’t have to win to be a winner.
  • I may not be good at winning in direct competition but I can usually do a very good job if I like a goal and I can go after it in my own way.



C-13 Willpower Tools:

I can’t make myself do anything.

  • When I get passionate enough about anything I will do whatever it takes.
  • Working toward goals I want is easier and more productive than working to get away from things I’ve done wrong or which aren’t working.
  • Passion follows visualization. I have to see people doing things I want so I will get off the sofa and find an interest.

I don’t have the energy to tackle something that large.

  • Fear exaggerates the difficulty of any task.
  • I’ll divide a task into bite-size pieces. Starting on easier parts will make the harder parts easier because I will get to know them and they won’t be as intimidating.



C-14 Longevity and Health:

When I am stressed, the last thing on my mind is exercise.

  • Not attending to my own health is depressing and produces anxiety.
  • Anxiety produces tension. Exercise relieves it and produces endorphins which give me self-esteem.
  • Comfort food “now” produces discomfort in the long run.
  • Good food and exercise make every day better and can increase the life of a person by 30 years.