Skillful Thoughts

Series E – Attract People You’d Like to Be Like


Download Series E




E-1 Making Friends:

Getting to know people is hard.

  • Social skills are easy to learn and use, especially if I practice them with everyone I meet.
  • The more interested I can get in them the more interest they’ll show in me.

I am stuck where I am.

  • Being stuck is a state of mind suggests I have stopped looking for alternatives. I can choose to be unstuck. I haven’t even scratched the surface of possibilities.

I can’t learn from anyone in my life at present.

  • If I do what I like to do, or want to do, people with similar interests will be there and be more like me.


E-2 Keeping Friends:

The people I would like for friends don’t seem to notice that I exist.

  • Those who don’t may be so into themselves that they wouldn’t be good friends even if they did.
  • I will do more that involves interacting with others.
  • Friends will show up if I replace some of my bad Plays with good ones and concentrate on what I can offer instead of what I can get.

I can’t grow unless I move on.

  • If my plan for life is good and it includes opportunities for social interaction, the right people will remain and new ones will show up.

My friends will think I am snubbing them if I move on.

  • Showing them how to improve themself and escape their surroundings will be better for them than watching me be stuck with them. 


E-3 Making Conversation:

I have trouble getting into conversations because I can’t remember people’s names.

  • If I ask questions about what interests others, they will think I am good conversationalist. Once I get a person talking about what he or she likes, if I ask them to repeat their name they won’t mind; it will show I am interested in them.

I just can’t start a conversation.

  • If I know a few standard conversation starting questions and practice them on everyone I meet, I can get acquainted with just about anyone quickly and comfortably.


E-4  Making Yourself Irresistible:

The more I want to get acquainted the more I get tongue-tied I get.

  • I’ll look at each attempt as a rehearsal and practice on everyone I meet. 


E-5  Likability Skills:

I don’t like who I have become.

  • The thought of replacing my stale routines with some fresh approaches can be very exciting if I look at it as an adventure.

 When there are long silences in the conversation, it makes me anxious.

  • They are probably feeling the same; I can put them at ease by ask the other person what they are thinking.
  • I will not assume it is my fault.
  • I will apply some of my conversation-starting questions to a subject I think my conversation partner will like.


E-10  Dwindling Romance:

He’s not affectionate.

  • I have not been affectionate with him.
  • Every time he starts a conversation I use it to criticize him, give him to-dos, whine, or remind him of how afraid I am about our finances.
  • I never tell him what a good job he is doing or show interest in the things that interest him.
  • I will start offering ideas on what we can do together that he might consider fun.
  • I will touch him every chance I get.