SERIES A: Topic 3

End the Pressure and Guesswork

Your brain loves to feel in control. It craves certainty and wants to avoid risk and ongoing involvement in messy things. This helps it keep as much of its capability as possible available for new demands. One way it does this is by delegating most of its chores
to thought habits.

This is an important skill for your brain; but it requires you to pay attention and to be strong, especially if you are anxious or compulsive by nature. Your brain may get impatient to settle ambiguities, to eliminate unknowns, or to follow the line of least resistance. It presses too hard or makes you feel inadequate. That pressure causes you to make decisions before you have all theinformation you need.

Unfortunately, that pressure often causes you to proceed with solutions that only …

… seem okay,
… seem to be the favorite to those involved,
… seem to put the matter to rest,
… give you a reward you’ve been longing for or
… seem to eliminate a threat (real or imagined).

All of these involve guesswork, which creates sloppy thoughts and decisions.

You have hundreds of beliefs, biases, and prejudices, some of which protect you and some of which don’t. Some make no sense at all. Good or bad, they create the filter through which your future decisions must pass.

You show respect for yourself when you take the time you need to gather the proper information for your decisions. Feeling pressured, anxious, or hurried usually comes from being insecure or overworked, or yielding to your emotional need to appear
decisive, in charge, or superior. Developing wisdom takes time. The extra time it takes to make cautious decisions will give you
self-confidence in all parts of your life.

Recovering from sloppy decisions complicates your life and slows your progress. The time and energy lost in recovering from bad decisions will usually consume more time than it would have taken to make good decisions.

Judgment calls are different. Usually, the best opportunities are rare and fleeting and require you to react quickly. Quick decisions are inherently risky. Often a decision to take a risk acknowledges that there will be glitches and do-overs, but the rewards are worth the risk and turmoil. Good judgment usually comes from gathering a huge amount of knowledge in the subject matter while watching the results of others taking similar risks. Watching the opportunity get away is also a good lesson.

You tend to record only the highlights of thoughts or events in memory. When you recall them, they are distorted by what you
are thinking and feeling at the time.

You tend to underestimate the risk involved in what you want to do, and overestimate the risk involved in what you don’t want
to do, or are afraid to do. When you want something, you are influenced by its benefits. When you don’t want something, all
you can see are its shortcomings. The same “knight in shining armor” you couldn’t wait to marry becomes a sleaze-ball when
you want to divorce.

Nearly all bad decisions are the result of not having enough information or the right type of information.

You lack information because:

• You don’t ask for it because you don’t want others to
know you don’t already know the essential information.

• You never think of getting the information or you don’t
want to put out the effort.

• You don’t know how to find the information.

• You are too busy and don’t want to take the time.

• You don’t check out the input you get from a friend, for
fear of hurting his or her feelings.

• You don’t realize the benefits of accurate information or
the harm of inaccurate information.

Before you proceed with what you think is right:

• Think of all the ways it could be wrong or could be
improved.

• Check all your new information with authoritative
sources.

• In addition to what you expect initially, look at what the
long-term consequences might be.

• Look at how your decisions will affect others. Ask people for their input before you proceed.

• Test your conclusions before you commit to them.

• Seek and welcome information that challenges your
existing assumptions.

Information is at your fingertips! In seconds, Google can fill your computer screen with facts and opinions on just about any
subject you could ask.

Bookstores (and libraries) have people who will help you find information on just about any subject. Many bookstores have
refreshments. Go grab a coffee and a magazine. While you are reading, notice how many inquisitive minds are growing before
your eyes. Your self-image will grow along with your intelligence as you read and learn.

Decisions made with inadequate information are
gambles.

…………………………ask yourself…………………………

How can I learn to use computers, bookstores,
libraries and mentors?

What subject excites me enough to learn about it
in every way possible?

What can I learn that will help me make a better
decision next time?