A life that is right is the natural result of good thinking over time and the conscious decision to think better. We all know the famous phrase: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
You react to life by telling yourself what has happened, what is happening, and what you expect will happen. Using your “self- talk,” you review as many combinations of thoughts, emotions, and meanings as you think necessary and then you choose the most appropriate ones.
Explanations
The thoughts you consider and the ones you choose to go forward with are called “explanations.” The explanations you choose become the programming and the rules you live by as you move forward in life.
Your first thoughts and emotions are rarely as good as you can make them; they tend to be incomplete, shortsighted, and a little selfish. Once you process all the information and alternatives you need to make the decision into a memory, you add some notes. They state the significance of the memory and how it is likely to affect you in the future. This is called “tagging.” Your tags can cause you to be afraid or bold, beaten or determined, sadder or wiser; or they can cause you to shrink from, or rise above, your current situation. This is where you also assign feelings such as blame, resentment or prejudices, or appreciation, love, and empathy.
In many ways, your tagging skills determine your outlook and your happiness. Choosing tags which favor long-term outcomes and calm, responsible emotions help you live and enjoy life more.
The life you have now is made up of the very best explanations and decisions you have been able to make so far. Improvements in your life will come from your ability to make better ones.
For any given situation, many explanations are possible. Each one produces different results. The information you have for making future decisions is contained in the explanations you have stored in your mind, including information that isn’t true or that works against you. Your self-image is made up of those facts and assumptions. They create the “story” of you; your self-image acts like a container. You can grow within it, but it limits your thoughts and dreams. You have to be vigilant and imaginative to keep from having your collection of thoughts confine you.
When you aren’t progressing, it‘s usually because you haven’t been thinking about it or you have assumed you can’t. You assume you have limitations that don’t exist. Your assumptions are like prejudices; they keep you from seeing the other side and put you into a mental rut.
What Is Holding You Back?
You allow your choices of alternatives to be limited because:
- You aren’t looking imaginatively enough for better alternatives.
- You are using the wrong facts, or facts that are.
- You aren’t verifying the facts you use for your opinions or decisions.
- You have thought prejudices that filter out new ideas.
- You are influenced by what you want to be true.
- You allow your moods to influence your judgment.
- You are closed-minded or overly sensitive.
- You wish or need something to be true.
- You are influenced by how your peers think.
- You aren’t sure of what you think.
Your mind will try to defend any explanation or emotion you have chosen, whether it is good or bad. That’s what makes your present thinking hard to change.
Over time, a child will effortlessly change its term for a fuzzy worm from calapitter to caterpillar. Changing your thinking gets harder as you get older. You have more information, more pressures, and more complicated decisions to make. To keep up, you may accept the first thought that comes to mind. Thus, many of your explanations will be full of unverified facts and guesswork.
Guesses and unexamined assumptions become the building blocks of your future and your reality.
Crafting Better Explanations
- Seek and admit to yourself the absolute truth about your facts, emotions, and motivations.
- Base your decisions on what you know, rather than what you presume to be true.
- Consider as many explanations as possible.
- Choose the course of action that best furthers your long-term plan for life.
- Keep most of your choices open for reconsideration.
- Assume that if you work and think hard enough, life will make what you need available to you as you proceed.
Ask Yourself
Right now, which area of my life needs skillful thinking most?
Does the choice I am about to make contribute to my Plan for life?
Which relationship could I improve by rethinking the way I am?
Interested in Learning More?
This is just Topic One – Series A in Get Life Right. The full ebook can be downloaded at GET LIFE RIGHT EBOOK
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